One thing I learned recently is that things exist for a reason. Even those that we despise: evil, anger, hatred, sadness– they all are present for their equivalent to exist: goodness, happiness, love, gentleness.
After watching Rent, I realized how we should properly love. If you love a person, Christoper, for example, you cannot just love ‘Chris.’ You should also learn to love ‘toper,’ his other side. You cannot just love a person for his good qualities, and hate the bad ones. You cannot ‘partially’ love a person, you must love him/her as a whole.
Learn to see that a person is also gifted with hateable qualities because it was destined that way. It will be unfair if there are people who are born with pure bad qualities, or pure good qualities. Now, why should there be bad qualities? Wouldn’t the world be better if there are no bad qualities? I disagree. What we are right now, where we are, how the world is, is a result of different actions brought about by different factors. Love won’t exist without hatred or enmity. Peace won’t exist without chaos. Creation will not exist without war. You cannot expect someone not to have bad qualities– it has to be scattered in all of us.
Now, there is the concept of conflict which we can define as something that is between how it is and how it should be; or the more selfish, how it is versus how YOU want it to be. As we know, anything that do not go together clashes. So if all of us have bad qualities, wouldn’t it affect people relationships? I mean, why would I go with someone who has bad qualities by default? Then again, all of us have bad qualities, so you’ll be lonely. The thing is, if you are in a relationship, and you really love the person, you should be able to withstand his bad qualities and not destroy it. Quarrels happen because the two people in the relationship are adjusting. It is not necessarily true that fighting means there is no love, there is simply an imbalance that is trying to correct itself.
Like batteries. Battery power happen because of the electromotive force brought about by the imbalance of the two chemicals in the barrel (again, another duality). Electricity, which we can compare to conflict and arguments, happen because the two chemicals inside are trying to balance themselves, and the movement of electrons causes electricity. Yet, battery dies, right? This is when the two chemicals have mixed already and a balance have been achieved. A very strong-bonded chemical gets formed. Same with relationships, once all conflicts are resolved, then, a very strong and deep friendship/partnership gets formed.
If this is the case, then, why do we have breakups and why do we get engaged in several relationships in our lifetime? Well, being in conflict a lot can exhaust a person. Too much electricity is deadly. BUt ample amount of it can bring light. By instinct, you escape when you are in pain or you do not like the situation. But, if you really love the person, then, you should be able to withstand the conflicts and stand together. If you really want to be with a person, then, you should fight for it. You cannot have pride and love your individuality and love yourself during this time since it will just cause more conflicts to be put out. In love, there should be a bit of sacrifice.
Then again, isn’t that martyrdom I’m referring too. Quite. But it is more of showing selfless love. Isn’t it wrong that you fail to love yourself– doesn’t charity start at home? My answer: there is nothing wrong in loving yourself. But if you love yourself too much, then, how much love can you give away? You cannot say “I love you but I love myself.” By grammar, when you put BUT in a compound sentence, the first sentence gets negated or has less importance. So even saying “I love myself but I love you,” would be an imbalance. So what is correct? Well, “I love you and I love myself.” “I love you like I love myself.” That’s why love is a responsibility and most of all, a commitment. You are free to do things that you like to do to show the factor that you love yourself. But it has to be just enough so as not to forget that you are in a commitment. That’s why open relationships do not work well. It is just having the fun of having someone to love but it is throwing away the responsibility of being in love. I may sound conservative but would you have somebody who plays around the city, or somebody who will go home to you every night? Commitment and freedom– another duality that has to be considered.
But why apply logic in love? Simple: you love with your heart. But you think with the mind. They have to go together. Duality. They exist together. Divine, selfless, fluid love will not exist without logic of the mind. You cannot just let love flow. It has to have a direction.
Now isn’t that difficult? Well, you have to make it work. You have to think it out. Isn’t that why you have been given a life to live? Not just to exist… but to live and enjoy the game of balancing things in life. You may lose or win– but it does not matter. What’s important is you tried your best. You wrote your name in human history, big or microscopic contribution– it’s just: you did not just existed– you lived.
